Week Nine Question with Response

Week Nine Question:

Am I prepared to be so identified with the Lord Jesus that His life and His sweetness are being poured out all the time?

“The first thing God does is to knock pretence and the pious right out of me…God’s love to me is inexhaustible, and I must love others from the bedrock of God’s love to me. Growth in grace stops the moment I get huffed.” Chambers  May 11

My Response to Week Nine Question:

Where does my love come from? What stops my growth? The question is always, “Am I prepared” to allow God to do anything in me. Nothing should be worth an interruption of growth. But it is grace that calls to us, and it is grace that carries us back to the cross.

“Grace strikes us when we are in great pain and restlessness. It strikes us when we walk through the dark valley of a meaningless and empty life. It strikes us when we feel that our separation is deeper than usual … Sometimes at that moment a wave of light breaks into out darkness, and it is as though a voice were saying: “You are accepted.” Paul J. Tillich – from The Shaking of the Foundations

Father-God, I choose You. I choose to be identified with who You are and what You did. I choose to love others with Your inexhaustible love, and I immerse myself in  Your inexhaustible grace.

Week Eight Question with my Response

Week Eight Question:

Have you ever sought God with your whole heart, or have you only given a languid cry to Him after a twinge of moral neuralgia?  Are you thirsty, or smugly indifferent-so satisfied with your experience that you want nothing more of God? Have you ever been afflicted before God at the state of your inner life?

“Beware of building your faith on experience, the metallic note will come in at once, the censorious note…it is a humbling business to knock at God’s door-you have to knock with the crucified thief.” - Chambers June 10

My Response to Week Eight Question:

Have I ever sought God with my whole heart, or have I only given a languid cry to Him after a twinge of moral neuralgia?  What drives me to my knees? Guilt or conviction?

Am I thirsty, or smugly indifferent-so satisfied with my experience that I want nothing more of God? Have I come to a stagnant state of independent belief – feeling I know all there is to know, satiated by my own agendas, talents, or beliefs?

Have I ever been afflicted before God at the state of my inner life?  The word “afflicted” convicts my sometimes apathetic attitude. How bothered am I? Really?

Father-God, as the deer pants for the water, so my soul longs after You (Ps. 42).

Seek Balance

Everyone has memories from their school days that, to this day, make them either laugh or shutter. For me, gym class was one of those classes that brought laughter and fear together. Whenever the teacher said we were beginning gymnastics, most students cheered, happy to leave behind volleyball nets and exercise mats. Not so for me.

I remember the first time I saw a balance beam up close. I panicked. Was my teacher kidding? Walk across an unbelievably narrow board raised to what I was certain was a ridiculous height, go to the end, turn around, and walk back – all without falling to my death.

It took three tries before I could even get on that thing. I think I was hoping that the teacher would get frustrated and just send me to the back of the line and forget about me. Finally, after the teacher and another student finally hoisted me up there, I froze. The beam seemed to disappear as fear and anxiety began to creep up my legs and into my throat. Jolted back to reality by the teacher’s angry voice, I tried to lift my foot. It didn’t get more than two inches off the beam before I fell off. Humiliated and somewhat relieved, I stumbled to the back of the line praying for the bell to ring.

After class, the teacher took me aside. I told her that I thought that my body just could not balance – I was too tall-too awkward. She said that the problem was not my body, but my mind. She said that whenever I lost focus, looked down at the ground or around at the other students, I stopped trusting what my feet were feeling beneath me. I could certainly balance when I tried to walk a straight line directly on the ground. But once I saw that the board was high and that there was the possibility of falling off, I became fearful and that was what caused me to lose my balance. She said fear always affects our ability to balance.

Although those balance beam memories are far behind me, I never forgot her words: fear affects balance. They came back strong one day when I was praying about restoring balance to my life. I had allowed fear and distraction to create an imbalance in my thinking and in my decisions.

But what exactly is balance to the believer? In Scripture, the word does not appear as such. But when you consider that the idea of balance means a leveling, the verses abound. You see, when we want to correct something in our lives, we have this tendency to swing from one extreme to the other.

What corrects this pendulum sway? We need to center ourselves in Christ and allow Him to lead us on level ground - to make our paths straight and smooth, and to guide and bring us into a level and balanced place. Because sin entered the world and created an imbalance not only in the natural world but within us as well, it takes the saving and restoring power of God to take away the fear and tendency to shift and sway.

Balance and communication? Just consider how hard it is to concentrate and carry on a meaningful conversation when standing on the deck of a boat that is tossing and turning, pitching back and forth. Physically, your balance is thrown off – it is not long before a sense of distraction and fear take hold.

Father of all that is straight and level, help me to fix my eyes on You and not allow fear and distraction to shift me off my course.

Check out: Isa. 40:4; Psalm 143:10; Proverbs 4:26

Week Seven Question with my response

Week Seven Question:

Have you come to your last days? Do you agree with God that you stop being the striving, earnest kind of Christian you have been? Have you had your ‘white funeral,’ or are you sacredly playing the fool with your soul? Is there a place in your life marked as the last day, a place to which the memory goes back with a chastened and extraordinarily grateful remembrance – “Yes, it was then, at that ‘white funeral,’ that I made an agreement with God. Are you willing to go through that ‘white funeral’ now? Do you agree with Him that this is your last day on earth?

“No one enters into the experience of entire sanctification without going through a ‘white funeral’ – the burial of the old self” - Chambers Jan. 15

My Response to Week Seven Question:

Dying to self – my “white funeral” – not just dying once at the time of salvation. It is more – often. Daily lying on the altar, waiting for fire to descend. Being crucified with Christ does not mean standing at the foot of the cross feeling badly for His suffering.

Father-God, my heart agrees with You.

He Will Never Forsake You

Lately, I have been surrounded by doubts – oh, not the BIG doubts as to whether God exists or if I’m saved, but the little doubts that creep in, like: am I putting my hands to what God would have me do or am I just wandering aimlessly? And if I am in God’s will, why does it seem like He has disappeared in the work – where is the evidence of His approval – the blessings, the success?

Yes, I’m looking for the blessings – there, I admit it. When it comes to business affairs, it seems that the accepted meter of whether or not God is in it or that you are right with God is success.

When you pour your heart (and money I might add) into something for two years, and it appears that you are sinking fast, do you continue – stay the course?

I suppose that if I knew without reserve that I was definitely following God’s lead I would continue no matter what happened. But along the way, I have found that I am not so sure anymore. Everyone cites the economy – bad time to grow a business – but I’ve always believed that God is above the unpredictability of the economy. I really do believe it.

So this morning in my angst over failing financial statements and bleak prospects, I stopped listening to the voices of fear and doom and gloom and went to God’s word. I was willing to have Him tell me – “Look, you’ve strayed, you missed it – you’re not only off base, you’re in another game altogether.”

But in His quiet, still small voice, He ministered to my fear of failure, my fear of abandonment – my fear of disappointing Him.

I pray you will let His words of life into your fear today.

“…acknowledge and learn about, recognize, experience, and confess the God of your father, and serve him, be tilled like the soil for him with wholehearted devotion, with complete and perfect peace and with a willing mind, emotion, appetite, and passion that delights in God, for the Lord searches and seeks with care every heart – the soul, the understanding, the mind, and the will and understands, discerns, perceives and regards every motive and purpose behind your thoughts, plans, inventions, and purposes.

If you seek, resort to, frequent, and consult him, he will be found by you; He will acquire and fall in with you; but if you forsake, leave, abandon, forsake, neglect, and depart from him, he will reject and spurn you forever because of the stench of your sin. Consider now, perceive, regard, give attention to, watch, learn, observe, and have vision for the Lord has chosen and selected you to build up and establish a family and rebuild a house as a sanctuary and sacred place. Be strong, prevail, be firm, be secure and do the work – accomplish it, act with effect, produce, prepare, attend to, and bring it about it.

All this, said David, the LORD made me understand, to have insight and comprehension in writing – every character and letter - by his hand, strength, and power upon me, even all the works, business and service of this image and pattern.

Be strong, firm, bold, be caught fast – and give strength and be courageous, solid, brave, determined and do, produce, make, and attend to the work.

Do not be afraid or feel dread nor be discouraged, broken, shattered, and afraid, for the Lord God, my God, is with you. He will not fail you, let you sink or withdraw from you; He will not forsake, desert, abandon or neglect you … “  I Chronicles 28: 9-10; 19-20

Week One Through Six of Oswald Chamber Questions

If you are new to this journey, let me invite you to come along. Every week for the next year, I will post a question posed in Oswald Chamber's devotional, My Utmost for His Highest. I have indicated the original date of the entry in the question for reference.

Post your thoughts, your questions, and your prayers.  God bless you as you answer the call to go deeper.

Week One:
If the Son of God is born into my mortal flesh, is His holy innocence and simplicity and oneness with the Father getting a chance to manifest itself in me? Is the Son of God praying in me or am I dictating to Him? Is He ministering in me as He did in the days of His flesh? Is the Son of God in me going through His passion for His own purposes?

“What was true of the Virgin Mary in the historic introduction of God’s Son into this earth is true in every saint. The Son of God is born into me by the direct act of God; then I as a child of God have to exercise the right of a child, the right of being always face to face with my Father.” – Chambers – August 8

·         My response to Week One question:

Innocence. Simplicity. Oneness. Jesus in me – manifesting the life He led on earth through my life. Of the three, I’d have to say my great lacking is simplicity. Seems that the older I get in the Lord, the more complicated I make it. I find that strangely enough my comfort zone has become the “do’s” and the “do not’s” of performance and formula instead of the freedom and the “It is finished” of grace.

What does it mean to exercise the right of a child? A child of God, no less. Complete confidence in the ability of my Eternal Parent to protect, provide, and guide. What does it mean to exercise the right of a child? A child of God, no less. Complete confidence in the ability of my Eternal Parent to protect, provide, and guide. What does it mean to exercise the right of a child? A child of God, no less. Complete confidence in the ability of my Eternal Parent to protect, provide and guide.Complete access – any time for any reason. And complete peace in the purposes of His hand.

Father-God, as this new year begins I give over my plans, my comfort zones, and my heart – again. I know that in You all things become new.

Week Two question:

What is my dream of God’s purpose?

“God’s end is to enable me to see that He can walk on the chaos of my life just now. God is not working towards a particular finish; His end is the process - that I see Him walking on the waves, no shore in sight, no success, no goal, just the absolute certainty that it is all right because I see Him walking on the sea. It is the process, not the end, which is glorifying to God” - Chambers (July 28)

My Response to Week Two Question:

God’s purpose played out in the purposes of my life. Do I dream of the big when God desires to grow me through the small? What happens when the purpose I thought was God’s plan seems to either take a detour or change direction completely? How do I handle the shift? Gracefully? Fearfully? Impatiently?
My eyes seem to only focus on the end, not the process. Sometimes I want to hurry through it to get to some abstract goal that only makes me feel further away than when I started.

God speaks to my heart now through an old book I am reading, All Through the Night, by Grace Livingston Hill. (late 19^th early 20^th century writer). One of the characters has just responded to a question about assurance when plans change: “How do you know?” “Because my Heavenly Father is managing it all, and I have trusted my life with Him. I know He will work it out for our best good. You see what He wants for us all is to make us like His Son, Jesus Christ, and if He sees that hard things will accomplish this for us in a better, quicker way than anything else would, then that is what He will do for us. I know for I have told Him I want to rest my life with Him – entirely.”

Simply – the truth.

Father-God, I see You walking on the waves and all I want to do is step out on the deep and come to Your side.

Week Three question:

Are we worshipping or are we in dispute with God…Are we so worshipping God that we rouse ourselves up to lay hold on Him so that we may be brought into contact with His mind about the ones for whom we pray? Are we living in a holy relationship to God, or are we hard and dogmatic?

“When we lose sight of God we become hard and dogmatic. We hurl our own petitions at God’s throne and dictate to Him as to what we wish Him to do. We do not worship God, nor do we seek to form the mind of Christ. If we are hard towards God, we will become hard towards other people.” – Chambers (March 30)

My response to Week Three question:

What is my prayer time like? If I am honest, there are more “petitions” than praise lately. Not that bringing my needs or the needs of others before God is bad. But are my petitions “flavored” with my opinions of how I think the prayers should be answered or am I seeking the mind of Christ?

What is the posture of my heart when I come before God? We are told to come boldly before the throne of grace come boldly before the throne of grace (Heb. 4:16: Let us therefore come boldly to the throne of grace that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need) “Boldly” literally means free and fearless confidence, cheerful courage, boldness, [and] assurance.

Father-God, I have free and fearless confidence in Your grace. May my time before Your throne be a time of worshipful praise and petition that brings my heart and mind in alignment with Yours.(Heb. 4:16- Let us therefore come boldly to the throne of grace that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need.) “Boldly” literally means free and fearless confidence, cheerful courage, boldness, [and] assurance.

Father-God, I have free and fearless confidence in Your grace. May my time before Your throne be a time of worshipful praise and petition that brings my heart and mind in alignment with Yours.     

·        Week Four

We have seen what we are not, and what God wants us to be, but are we willing to have the vision “batter’d to shape and use” by God?

“The battering always come in commonplace ways and through commonplace people . . .whether we will let the vision be turned into actual character depends upon us, not upon God. We have to learn to live in reliance on what we saw in the vision, not in ecstasies and conscious contemplation of God, but to live in actualities in the light of the vision until we get to the veritable reality. The little ‘I am’ always sulks when God says do. Let the little ‘I am’ be shriveled up in God’s indignation-‘I AM THAT I AM hath sent thee.’” Chambers - October 4

My Response to Week Four Question:

We have seen what we are not, and what God wants us to be, but are we willing to have the vision “batter’d to shape and use” by God?

“The battering always come in commonplace ways and through commonplace people . . .whether we will let the vision be turned into actual character depends upon us, not upon God. We have to learn to live in reliance on what we saw in the vision, not in ecstasies and conscious contemplation of God, but to live in actualities in the light of the vision until we get to the veritable reality. The little ‘I am’ always sulks when God says do. Let the little ‘I am’ be shriveled up in God’s indignation-‘I AM THAT I AM hath sent thee.’” – Chambers October 4

What are the actualities of my “battering”? What or who does God use to mold and shape my heart? Am I pliable as clay in the hands of the potter?

Father-God, I lay my heart down as a living sacrifice and yield to the movement of Your hand.

Week Five:

Have I allowed Jesus Christ to introduce His joy to me?

“The joy of Jesus was the absolute self-surrender and self-sacrifice of Himself to His Father, the joy of doing that which the Father sent Him to do. Be rightly related to God, find your joy there, and out of you will flow rivers of living water. Stop being self-conscious, stop being a sanctified prig, and live the life hid with Christ. The life that is rightly related to God is as natural as breathing wherever it goes.” – Chambers  August 31

My Response to Week Five Question:

Godly joy-absolute self-surrender. Not “Am I happy today?” or “What have I got that completes and satisfies me” but joy through surrender. Not exactly a popular definition. However, it is absolutely necessary for me to understand the joy of the Lord because it is my strength. Could it be that if I have no strength that I have no joy?

Father-God, You have told me that Your joy is like a rushing river that will nourish my roots, that Your joy is like Your voice – sometimes quiet and small, sometimes thunderous and mighty. You have told me that Your joy is like Your fire, consuming, yet sustaining, and You have said that Your joy is like the wind of Your Spirit, a gentle breeze and a cleansing force. Lord, You give me the assurance of Your joy to be my hope, and You give me the strength of Your joy– to be my strength.

 Week 6:

Has the way in which you have been serving God betrayed you into exhaustion? …Where did you start the service from? From your own sympathy or from the basis of the Redemption of Jesus Christ?

“The process of being made broken bread and poured out wine means that you have to be the nourishment for other souls until they learn to feed on God…Be careful that you get your supply, or before long you will be utterly exhausted.” – Chambers  Feb. 9

 My Response to week Six Question:

Why do I do what I do? For God? For others? Or simply for myself? Am I exhausted tending an unauthorized fire that God did not ask me to build? Does my gender affect not only my expectation of service but others’ opinions as well? Women should do this. Men should do that. What is the starting place of my service? And am I feeding His sheep in a way that encourages and allows them to become independent and able to then feed others?

Father-God, I know I am invited into Your restful presence. I come to You first for rest and nourishment. I pray that the level I seek to know You is always the level at which I serve You.  

I'm Back!

Due to technical difficulties (i.e. a complete lack of technical understanding), I am launching a new blog. Not only will I continue my devotional musings and teachings, but I will use this format for The Oswald Chambers Project: Deep Calls to Deep, which I began the first of January.

If you haven't joined in the year long journey, it's not too late. Even though we are in week six, you can read over all of the questions. I have been putting them on facebook, but will start this blog with all of the questions and my responses so far.

I pray that God will draw you deep into His love and grace.